fuckingadreel:

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:


The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

i kNEAD THIS

fuckingadreel:

semiotickitten:

apiratenhisprincess:

4ngelo:

theodorepython:

miami-tea:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

I WASN’T EVEN GOING TO REBLOG UNTIL I SAW THE SHIT TON OF PUNS

HES BREAD JIM

JESUS CRUST

To pay my respects, Ill be sure to place a flour on his grave.

I need this.

i kNEAD THIS

(via recovery-has-set-me-free)

pascalcampion:

Take (me) out.#pascalcampionart_ I love these little take out boxes?_ How come?_ When I was a kid, I would always see the actors in the  tv series eating out of them.. I always wanted to know what it felt like to eat out of one of them!_ I always wanted to know what it felt like to kiss a french boy.._Ha funny… I’m French so… _hmmm mmm._…hooooooo!

pascalcampion:

Take (me) out.
#pascalcampionart
_ I love these little take out boxes?
_ How come?
_ When I was a kid, I would always see the actors in the  tv series eating out of them.. I always wanted to know what it felt like to eat out of one of them!
_ I always wanted to know what it felt like to kiss a french boy..
_Ha funny… I’m French so… 
_hmmm mmm.
_…hooooooo!